Espada Teachings
by Chrisy Gilga
Summary: What happens when Szayel and Nnoitra show up at my school as substitute teachers? FIND OUT!
1. Chapter 1

Espadas Teachings.

Rating: M (For my horrible, horrible language.)

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT FUCKING OWN BLEACH NO MATTER HOW MUCH I WISH I DID. I DON'T I DON'T OWN DESTINY EITHER… SZAYEL OWNS HER… AND, NNOITRA OWNS ME. SO YEA. DON'T OWN BLEACH.

Summary: What happens when Szayel and Nnoitra show up at my sucky ass school as teachers..? Find out fuckers. Cuz this is all you're gettin.

Warnings: Language (obviously) and possible sexual content later. I'm still writing so I'm debating on adding it or not...

Chapter 1 motherfuckers.

I was yawning paying attention in class is so difficult... My god, 8th grade is so boring... Nothing ever happens. I laid my head down on my desk and yawned again. There was a substitute teacher coming and I knew that the substitutes where dumber than I was. I knew I could take a nap and not get caught I was tired anyways. I heard the door open.

I soon felt a sharp pencil stabbing me in the arm. "Destiny! Leave me the fuck alone! I'm tiredddd." I was ready to bitch slap her. She knows science class was my nap class. "Loooook! Look look!" I sleepily brought my head up and nearly passed out. I rubbed my eyes to make sure I was seeing what I was seeing.

There was a man in the front of the class room... He had PINK motherfucking hair. There was just ONE motherfucker I knew of that had pink hair. And he didn't even exist.

I rubbed my eyes again and watched as he turned around. He had glasses and... Golden colored eyes..? No way.. The only guy I knew with pink hair, glasses, and honey colored eyes... Was... Szayel Aporro Granz..

But, he... Didn't exist right..?

Poor Destiny looked like she was ready to die. Szayel was her absolute favorite character in Bleach. 'What. The. Hell.' I was in total disbelief. 'Szayel... Is... Here..? He doesn't even exist...' I just couldn't believe it.

He turned around and smiled 'Fucking pedo,' I thought, 'there is no way that man's straight. There ain't no way he's gay either. That man's bi. Wait, why the hell was I discussing his sexuality... SZAYEL MOTHERFUCKING APORRO GRANZ WAS AT MY MOTHER FUCKING SCHOOL!

Everyone else in my class just sat there. Blinking. I don't blame them. They have no idea who Szayel was. They probably just thought he was a pink haired weirdo substitute to fuck around with. I knew it would be best not to do anything.

He kept glancing at me and Destiny while writing on the board. 'Why the hell do you keep lookin at me pinky!' I got to the point where I just sat there and angrily glared at him. 'Stupid pink haired moron.' "Alright class," he started, "Your assignment is to finish your graphs. You are dismissed to your next period. Except you." He pointed at Destiny.

That poor girl looked like she was about to have a heart attack and die. I just grabbed my stuff and walked out the door not sure how to react to this. 'This is a dream. This is a dream. This is a dream.' My mind kept shouting it at me. I decided to agree with it. That is, until I walked into my next class...

**A.N. Ehhh, I'm so bored so that is why I write this. I obviously enjoy the word 'fuck' and all terms of it. For, fuck is my favorite word. So expect to see it more often. My chapters, are, probably gonna be pretty short. So, yea. Fuck this fucking fuckery and every fucking person in it! (See? I love the word fuck.)  
PLEASE REVIEWWWW I REALLY REALLY LIKES REVIEWSSS! PLEASE AND THANKS MOTHERFUCKERS.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2 mah bitches.  
**  
As soon as I walked into honors language arts the first thing I see is a tall man with long black hair standing over some books. As soon as he turned around I dropped my books and fell into the floor. The man in front of me had a fucking eye patch.

'T-There's... No... Way...' I quickly pulled myself together though. Everyone was staring at the strange blonde laying in the floor like a fucking moron. I grabbed my books and hurried into my seat. I soon took a GOOD look at the man at the desk... 'T-That... That... That's Nnoitra Gilga... That... No... This is a motherfucking dream... It has to be... That's Nnoitra. Gilga. Up. At the front. Of the fucking classroom.' I sat there in total disbelief.

As he wrote our reading assignment on the board he kept glancing at me. The same way Szayel was looking at me. 'Just what the hell is going on..?' I just say there. I kept looking at the door. Wondering where the hell Destiny was. Nnoitra Gilga was in the front of the classroom she had to see this. I about just switched into fangirl mode right then and clobbered poor Nnoitra. Every thought in my head was screaming at me to do so.

Soon enough class was over and Nnoitra had asked me to stay behind. Something wasn't right here. He turned and gave me that pedophile grin. Why the hell did I love this man again..? "Why, hello there." I couldn't say anything. The words stuck in my throat. "Are you gonna say somethin or not woman?"

"Are... You... Nnoitra Gilga..?" I stood there eagerly awaiting an answer. "Of course I am." He looked at me somewhat surprised. "How did you know..?" I smiled. "Just knew Nnoitra-sama. Why are you here anyway?" I couldn't believe it. "I'm here for you demon." 'Did he just say... Demon...?' "W-What..? Demon..? Who are you talking to..?"

He rolled his eyes at me. "You. There are no there people in this room woman. You're a demon. Now, you're coming with me." He grabbed my wrist. "Wait! What! No! Let me go!" I struggled trying to get away. A smirk came across his face. "You're more powerful than I thought. I would love to have you. Such a shame I gotta do this..." He brought his hand up, and hit me in the back of my head. The last thing I remember is hitting the floor...

**A.N. Ehhhh, chapters... So... Short T.T I have no idea why mah chappies end up so short... Then agaiiiinnn I ammm typin this on me iPod then moving it to my computer. But, stilllll. Whatever.**


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3, I'm back bitches and bastards. Here's chapter 3.**

I groaned as I woke up, feeling around me. 'Huh..? Bed.. Sheets..? Where.. Am I..?' The room was too dark for me to see. I kept slowly feeling my surroundings. 'Im in someone's bed... Did.. I just get raped..? What the hell is going on..?'

I felt on my head. There was something... Furry... On my head..? 'Hold on.. Ears..? Cat... Ears..? No. Way.' I shot up into a sitting position and felt behind my back. Sure enough, just as I suspected, a sleek tail flicked behind my back. 'A demon... I'm a demon... I don't belive it it…'

The door opened and I turned to see who was there. A tall slender figure stood in the doorway. 'SLENDERMANNNN! OH. MY. GOD. THIS. IS. A. NIGHTMAREEEEE!' My eyes widened as I... Growled...? At this point I didn't care. I kept growling at who I thought was slenderman.

"Why the hell are you growlin woman..?" I stopped. It was just Nnoitra. Not slenderman. I sighed and looked at him with a purely blank expression. "I didn't know I could growl. I didn't know I was demon either." I sat there still with a blank expression.

"Where am I Nnoitra-sama?" He snickered. "Las Noches. In my bedroom." I looked around again. Blinking then looking back at Nnoitra. "Does Lord Azien know I'm here..?" He rolled his eyes and laughed at me again. "Yes. Your mine now demon."

I smiled. 'Im now Nnoitras... I like the sound of that..' I looked at him eagerly. "Sooo, what of my friend? Destiny?" He smirked. "She's with pinky. She's fine." I smiled and happily flicked my tail.

"So..? In guessing we are alone..?" He smiled, seeming to know what I wanted to do. "Yep," he said, "all alone." He shut and locked the door as he walked to me...

**A.N. ... Please reveiwwww... Bye fer nowww =3**


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